Several friends and family members encouraged me to bring back the blog during COVID-19 this year. I thought, "Yeah, that's a great idea BUT...." [insert every excuse in the book]. The truth is, I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. I was afraid to tap into the torrent of emotions threatening under the surface. I was feeling so much, and yet nothing at all. I felt listless and defeated. No one needed another a sob story in their dismal social feeds.
Despite the pandemic, 2020 has been a BIG YEAR.
I've shared a few updates on Facebook, but I've been pretty closed-lipped to the public. My purpose today is to share more about the major milestones this year, to shake the dust off the blog and my passion for writing, and maybe to process my emotions more fully.
After four years together, Chris and I married January 25, 2020. It was an incredible celebration. It's hard to express how humbled and grateful we are for the loved ones who shared in our joyous union. If you haven't already, check out our pictures on Facebook!
Now husband and wife, the pressure was on to sort out our long-distance living situation. I began applying for jobs in earnest, though I was discouraged by the job market in Polk County.
I had a few nibbles here and there, though I kept holding out for more. My expectations were pretty high. I was looking for a unicorn, but I had time. Right? It was only a few weeks after the wedding.
Enter COVID-19. The world basically stopped. I left the office for Spring Break and never went back. I was blessed to maintain my job and work from home. It just came with its own unique challenges.
My social life crumbled. I had plenty of Zoom and telephone calls, but it wasn't the same. My primary love language is quality time, and I felt so isolated and alone in quarantine.
The job market decimated before my eyes. I held onto two leads from mid-March to mid-May. I interviewed (online) for both on the same day, and they ultimately hired from within because of uncertainty with the pandemic.
I kept applying for jobs, though they were fewer and farther between. There were no nibbles, either.
I lost every ounce of wind from my sails. I was probably mildly depressed, but then again, so was everyone else. The "new normal," right?
We started visiting more with friends by June, so that rejuvenated my spirit a bit.
I decided by the end of June that there wasn't much hope for the job market to rebound. It was time to let go of my unicorn and be with my husband. Besides, I was pretty miserable by myself.
Magically, a number of jobs appeared and I applied with vigor. It was time for change. It was time to make my move.
Chris and I went to Horseshoe Beach for the 4th of July. As we set out for a weekend of scalloping and fishing I thought to myself, "I need to check the Florida Polytechnic University website one last time before the long weekend." And there was my unicorn: Executive Assistant to the CFO. I applied July 3 from the Circle K gas station while Chris fueled the truck.
We returned July 6 from our scalloping trip, and I began praying the Surrender Novena. By July 8, I had five online interviews / phone screenings lined up. I interviewed with Florida Polytechnic July 10 at 9 a.m., and they offered me the job by 4 p.m. Circumstances didn't allow for longer than two weeks notice, so I immediately called my supervisors at IRSC.
Oh, the joy and agony! What in the world happened for the job market to pick up so quickly, and for so many people to be interested in me at the same time?! I can only surmise it was a God thing. It had to be the Surrender Novena. Fr. George wasn't kidding about that prayer!
My last day at IRSC was July 23. I packed my valuables and enough clothes for a week or two, and I headed to Valrico to start living with Chris and my mother-in-law. I began at Florida Poly July 27.
I was a train wreck the first week. The adrenaline of my last two weeks at home wore off, while fear and anxiety for the future set in. There were SO MANY EMOTIONS. I cried all the time. Every day. In my car, in the bathroom at work, even one time after I farted in the car with Chris and his mom (read: blew a hole through the seat). SERIOUSLY. My head, my heart, and my bowels were in turmoil. I woke at all hours of the night with my wheels just spinning.
I kept reminding myself that God CLEARLY brought me here, and this was HIS PLAN. If He believed in me then I should believe in me, too. I clung to that thought for dear life.
I decided I needed another round of the Surrender Novena as I entered week two of my "new life," so I began praying Monday, August 3.
My house in Ft. Pierce listed Thursday, August 6. There were three showings Monday, August 10, and two offers by Tuesday, August 11. I signed a contract August 11 with a closing date of August 24. Cash offer with two weekends to pack my stuff and get out of dodge. It doesn't get much better or more stressful than that. The Surrender Novena strikes again!
Needless to say, the last few weeks have been wild. Chris and I are exhausted in every possible way. We are running on fumes, but we're hanging on for the ride. As Fr. George reminded us a few weeks ago, "When God commands, I can." Jesus called Peter out on the water, just as He called Chris and me into this new unknown. With faith, we can do this. We WILL do this.
I'm crying less and praying more. I still have hard days, though they're fewer now. It's a process, and it will be for some time.
I thank God every day for the overwhelming love and support from my family, my friends, and most incredibly, my husband. Though he struggles too, he does everything in his power to quiet my storms and calm my soul, even when I'm unaware.
I am truly blessed. 💓
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